The following letter is a composite of concerns that many different individuals have shared with me over the past few years. I believe it expresses the feelings of hundreds of thousands, if not millions, of faithful Christians. I was provoked into writing this post by a note from a longtime friend who finds herself in the situation similar to the one described in the letter.

Letter from a Distressed Lady

“Dear Ron:

I am writing to ask for your prayers and your advice. As you know, my husband (now deceased) and I have been members of First Avenue Church for over 60 years. We joined as a young couple, and now I am old and widowed. We served this church in the teaching ministry, the finance ministry, the hospitality ministry, and many others. We attended every service and generously supported the work financially. We weathered every storm and never once seriously considered leaving. All of this to say, I am not one to leave a church over a minor disagreement with the leadership or a personal offence. But something has happened that has placed me in a very distressing situation that must be resolved one way or another.

A year ago, the leadership of our church—a board of men and women elders—decided that our congregation will officially and publicly celebrate LGBTQ+ identities and relationships as equal morally and spiritually to marriage between male and female. The church had been moving in this direction for many years. First there was silence in the church’s public teaching. Then there arose low key advocacy by some individuals and small factions. They faced no strong push back from the leadership. As a next step some aggressive advocates of LGBTQ+ identities and relationships aspired to and were appointed to the leadership team. Soon—I hardly know how it happened—the leaders and the pastors announced that our church was now an LGBTQ+ affirming church.

A minority of us, mostly older, asked how the leaders could justify this change when it so clearly contradicts the explicit teaching of the Bible. We were assured—quite condescendingly I thought—that the Bible did not really condemn the modern forms of loving LGBTQ+ relationships; it condemns only violent and abusive relationships. We objected that we had been reading the Bible all of our lives and have never noticed any ambiguity in its teaching about sexual relationships and marriage. The elders and the pastors replied that lately the consensus of the best Bible scholars supported the new view. With this retort, I realized that no objection would induce the church elders and ministers to reconsider their decision.

I am now an old lady. I don’t have the will or energy to fight. I feel that the church I loved for 60 years (my home!) has been invaded by squatters. They entered uninvited, made themselves at home, took charge, and before we could do anything to stop them, they changed the locks and forged new deeds.

What should I do? Am I wrong to stay and facilitate the continued activities of First Avenue? By staying am I giving tacit approval to its heresy? Should the faithful abandon it to its fate of decline and certain death? Should I take a stand and witness boldly to the truth? On the other hand, there still remain a few older members to whom I minister and some longtime friends who would be hurt if I left because I disagree with them. Is it right to leave them?

What should I do? I realize that you can’t simply tell me what to do. But at least I need some perspective. Please reply.

Sincerely,

A Distressed Lady

Next Time: My reply to the distressed lady.